1
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,520
The crackpot returns!

2
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,840
Come on, people.
Opening show tomorrow.

3
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,760
Oh, stop fussing.

4
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,240
Father Brown!

5
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,680
Uncle Mirth, it has been too long!

6
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,240
Oh, yes, indeed.

7
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:38,200
I hope you don't mind me popping in,
but I couldn't wait to say hello.

8
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,800
<font color="

9
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:44,080
And congratulations on your win at
the Star Variety Awards last month.

10
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,880
Lifetime Achievement.
Makes me feel very old.

11
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,360
Er... Ahem, yeah.

12
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,480
Ladies and gentlemen,

13
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,080
it's... Plea... Pl...

14
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,840
How many more times? Louder!

15
00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:00,880
<font color="
Yeah, remember. Ahem.

16
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,680
Ladies and gentlemen, please, er...

17
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:07,000
..put your hands together
for the... For the...

18
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,320
The king of the jesters!
Uncle Mirth!

19
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,160
Before I forget, Father... Oh!

20
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,400
<font color="
Keep your wig on.

21
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,600
We'll speak later.

22
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,760
Mr. Kafka.

23
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,480
There you go.

24
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,280
That dummy gives me the willies.

25
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,200
Isn't this marvellous?

26
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,600
With a smile like that,
you should be on stage.

27
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,760
<font color="

28
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,040
it's time for the crackpot...

29
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,040
Whoa, whoa!

30
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,600
LAUGHS

31
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,600
What's that?

32
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,520
DUMMY: That's the cracked pot
you asked for!

33
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,520
Oh! Very funny.

34
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,120
Music, music, music...

35
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,600
<font color="

36
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,480
DUMMY: Oh, Not that song again!

37
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,040
What's wrong with it?
DUMMY: It's not funny.

38
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:52,680
About as funny as Eric Gramby
sleeping with your wife.

39
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:58,720
That's right. Monique cheated on you
<font color="

40
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:02,160
You thought you'd got away with it,
didn't you? But you hadn't.

41
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,400
And now it's payback time!

42
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:09,320
SINISTER RECORDED LAUGHTER
FROM DUMMY

43
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,920
Uncle Mirth...

44
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:43,320
Did she really betray me?

45
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,240
I never met Monique.

46
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,560
<font color="
but before Anabelle.

47
00:02:54,960 --> 00:03:01,280
There have been a lot of women in my
life, I know, but she was the one.

48
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,600
You met in Paris?

49
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,440
Before the war.
It's where she's buried.

50
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,600
Did Eric Gramby know her well?

51
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:12,520
He took that.
<font color="

52
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,200
Used to take publicity stills
of all the acts.

53
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,680
She was a dancer.

54
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,280
Where's Mr Kafka?
I left him just there.

55
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,240
He's behind you. Oh!

56
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,480
I've been mislaying things a lot
lately.

57
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,920
<font color="

58
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,600
My niece Gwen reminds me every day.

59
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,360
Don't want to go back
to the madhouse.

60
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,040
What happened onstage?

61
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,600
It was almost as if...

62
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,040
..Mr Kafka had a mind of his own.

63
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,440
It was just one of his warped jokes.

64
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,040
<font color="
he sticks to his routine tomorrow.

65
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,440
We can't afford to cancel
due to him losing his marbles!

66
00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,520
You promised me two shows a day.

67
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,520
Now, if that doesn't happen...

68
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,160
It will.

69
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,080
Look, I'll make sure
he's on top form.

70
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,160
<font color="

71
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:16,480
How is he, Father? He needs
some time on his own, I think.

72
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,200
The heavy workload
is taking its toll.

73
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,040
Everything all right?

74
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,920
Just a bit anxious.

75
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,320
My uncle hasn't been right
<font color="

76
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,800
EXHALES

77
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,080
I gave up being a comedienne
to be his agent.

78
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,520
Not his nurse.

79
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:41,480
Where's Eric?

80
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,760
Um, excuse me,
I'm just about to rehearse my act.

81
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,080
Would you mind being my foil?
You what?

82
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,920
<font color="

83
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,520
I'm the President
of the Kembleford Players.

84
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,040
The underlined bits.

85
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,880
OK? Right. Thank you. Thank you.
Ahem!

86
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,800
Oh, madam, what a beautiful frock!

87
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,680
Yeah, I've seen
<font color="

88
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,160
Um... Oh, I've never been
so insulted in my life!

89
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:13,920
Yeah, well, stick around!
You know, it's... It's not early.

90
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,680
I mean, I mean...
It's still early!

91
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,520
Pathetic! Call yourself a comedian?

92
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,720
Poor Volker. My uncle said
<font color="

93
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,640
Audiences loved him.

94
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,720
I was hoping to get Mirth
to do a few more shows.

95
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,040
I'm not sure he's up to it.

96
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,400
Guess where I've just been.

97
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,080
Not now. Eric! Not now!

98
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,200
<font color="

99
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,440
otherwise you can kiss goodbye
to your job.

100
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,000
And that goes for your lodgings
as well.

101
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:02,360
Hello. That comedy show
you mentioned in Wedlock?

102
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,480
I managed to get us tickets.

103
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,920
<font color="

104
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,360
Cost me a small fortune, but..

105
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,440
Hang on, we've already
been given free tickets. What?

106
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,200
Oh, of course.
I'd completely forgotten.

107
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:17,720
Excellent.

108
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,480
I'd better get back.

109
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,920
<font color="

110
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:27,640
Oh, Miss Palmer,
can you make up the spare bedrooms?

111
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,800
Uncle Mirth and his niece
will be staying with us.

112
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,400
Their guesthouse is too noisy.

113
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,960
Right.

114
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,600
And I can keep an eye on him.

115
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,440
He is not himself.

116
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,720
<font color="
will he? I expect so.

117
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,480
Him and Mr Kafka are inseparable.

118
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,120
Oh. Can't wait.

119
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:56,160
DUMMY: Eric's turned you
into the cuckold king.

120
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,960
What you going to do about it?

121
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:03,000
<font color="

122
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000
Squeak!

123
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,040
BECOMING DISTORTED: Squeak! Squeak!

124
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,920
Look, you can either
accept the changes or not.

125
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,160
It's your choice.

126
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:20,080
My father was right.
You only married me for this place.

127
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:26,000
<font color="
to your daddy, then.

128
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,200
You disgust me. Do I?

129
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:35,280
Well, I mean, it's not like
you've got anything else to offer.

130
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,480
Mildred.

131
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:55,240
When my father was in charge,
we had a full house every night.

132
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,280
<font color="

133
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:03,120
Ah... I'm sure you'll make
the theatre a success again

134
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,600
and make your father proud.

135
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,400
He begged me not to marry Eric.

136
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,960
How could I be so stupid?

137
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,760
Eric was a real charmer back then.

138
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,720
And now...
<font color="

139
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,040
Thank you, Father.

140
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,920
Oh! Oh!

141
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,040
You don't think
you might be overdoing it?

142
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,200
Heh! Probably.

143
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,280
Then perhaps you should
reduce your dates in Wedlock.

144
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,720
No. There's no need for that.

145
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,040
<font color="

146
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,880
He just needs some rest, that's all.

147
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,240
I'm sure you'll feel better
tomorrow.

148
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,440
Right. I'll take this inside,
if that's all right.

149
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,160
Yes. Of course.

150
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,520
Gwen means well, Father.

151
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:04,160
But YOU have to
<font color="

152
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,040
..all the shows are sold out.

153
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:10,720
And I've promised Mildred
that I wouldn't let her down.

154
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,920
She was very good to me
when I first started out...

155
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:20,240
Is something the matter?
I've forgotten Mr Kafka.

156
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,760
<font color="

157
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,200
Well, you could always
get it tomorrow. No, no.

158
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,640
I hate being parted from him.

159
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,320
Oh, and I hate being near him.

160
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,240
I'll fetch him for you.
I'll drive you.

161
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,080
You stay here and settle in.
<font color="

162
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:38,480
We'll be back with Mr Kafka
before you know it. Thank you.

163
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,960
Father, can I help you?

164
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,840
Uncle Mirth left Mr Kafka.

165
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,640
Oh! It's probably in his
dressing room. Do go on through.

166
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,720
Father?

167
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,840
<font color="

168
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:16,120
His, uh... His throat's been cut.

169
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,960
Looks like the murder weapon, sir.

170
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:21,560
WINCES

171
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,160
Why was that left there?

172
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,240
Father! I told him
to stay at the presbytery.

173
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,560
Mr. Kafka!

174
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,560
Who was that?

175
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:34,360
<font color="

176
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,160
His two brothers were murdered
not far from here.

177
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:41,720
Murdered? By his nephew. It was
during Inspector Mallory's time.

178
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,480
Mr Kafka's gloves.

179
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,160
I knew there was something strange
about that dummy.

180
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,880
<font color="
What?

181
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,760
Well, he was possessed or something?

182
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,600
Miss Palmer, we're not about to
arrest a puppet for murder.

183
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:09,000
Inspector, will we be able
to go on with the show?

184
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,720
Mrs Gramby,

185
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,760
your husband has just been murdered.

186
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,320
<font color="

187
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,080
If we have to close,
it'll be because of him,

188
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,800
and I promised my father
I'd never let that happen.

189
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,520
Can I ask where you were, sir,
between one and two o clock?

190
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,160
I was at the herbalist.

191
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:29,600
I always find that Chamomile
<font color="

192
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,560
is rather good for stage nerves.

193
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,440
Right. Thank you.

194
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,040
And you, Mrs Gramby?

195
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,360
I was buying wine for the bar.

196
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,240
Are there any other
members of staff?

197
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,080
No. Had to let them go.

198
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,040
What about your whereabouts, miss?

199
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,760
<font color="
I was waiting in my car.

200
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,120
Waiting? For my uncle.

201
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,520
He was in his dressing room
taking off his make-up.

202
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,400
Ah. So he was the last one
to leave the theatre.

203
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,760
When I first found out
<font color="

204
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,360
I thought about...killing Eric.

205
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,000
How did you find out?

206
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,880
It was about a week ago,
when I first came into Wedlock.

207
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,960
You probably won't believe me.

208
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,600
It was a love letter from years ago.

209
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,440
And this is Monique's handwriting?

210
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,880
<font color="

211
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:58,640
Looks like someone's wiped blood
off their hands, sir. It wasn't me.

212
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:02,280
And yet this is your dressing room?
Yes.

213
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:03,840
Your razor is missing.

214
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,320
I must have mislaid it.

215
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,440
Would that be a cut-throat
<font color="

216
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,280
Like the one found by the body?

217
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,320
Perhaps the killer stole it.

218
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,640
Well, let's look at the facts
we DO have, shall we?

219
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,640
Last one to leave the theatre,

220
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,800
potential murder weapon
owned by you, and a clear motive.

221
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,280
<font color="

222
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,240
You were heard threatening him
onstage.

223
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,480
Well, it wasn't me who said that.
That was...

224
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,120
Looks like you're blaming
your puppet for everything.

225
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:34,800
Is that why you left it by the body,

226
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,840
blaming IT for the murder
<font color="

227
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,040
I think I've heard enough,
Sergeant.

228
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,160
Julius Kirkov, I'm arresting you

229
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,560
on suspicion of the murder
of Eric Gramby.

230
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,200
Uncle Mirth has been arrested.

231
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,240
I know.

232
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,640
<font color="

233
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,400
What are we going to do?

234
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,120
Don't know. What about you? Me?!

235
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,440
You used to be amazing. People
came from miles around to see you.

236
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,120
Oh, that was years ago!

237
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:13,040
What if you resurrected your old
<font color="

238
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,280
It'll be like before,
when it all started to go wrong.

239
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,760
Volker!

240
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:22,040
Oh, I'll dry onstage and
they'll start jeering and booing.

241
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:25,200
That's just your confidence.
You've still got talent.

242
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,320
No!

243
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,520
<font color="

244
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,800
Sorry, Mildred.

245
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,480
With or without your help,

246
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,840
I am not going to let this theatre
close!

247
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,760
Did Eric Gramby have any enemies?

248
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,120
Oh, too many to count.

249
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,640
Mildred seemed very upset with him.

250
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,920
Did she know about the affair?

251
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:56,000
<font color="
It would have been wrong not to.

252
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,800
How did the letter
get into Mr Kafka's hands?

253
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,400
As I was leaving
the dressing room,

254
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,680
I noticed Eric's office door
was open,

255
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,200
and the contents of his
<font color="

256
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,120
As if...

257
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,040
..Mr Kafka had been searching.

258
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,800
You think I'm mad.

259
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,000
I didn't do this, Father.
I really didn't.

260
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,400
I believe you.

261
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,600
You'll get me out of here,
won't you?

262
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,600
<font color="

263
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,440
Father.

264
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,920
To what do we owe the pleasure?

265
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:44,560
I'm here to see Miss Kirkov,
to keep her posted on her uncle.

266
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,960
Well, despite having more tickets
than we need,

267
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,920
looks like we won't be needing
any of them.

268
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,640
<font color="

269
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,640
Even before he was arrested,
Uncle Mirth seemed quite unstable.

270
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,800
As for Kount Volker, I mean...
CHUCKLES

271
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,320
..I saw him compere a charity show
a while ago... Edgar.

272
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:12,040
..he just wasn't funny. He even
<font color="

273
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,080
Why did Eric Gramby

274
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:24,840
just leave an incriminating love
letter from Monique in the desk?

275
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,560
Mildred's coming.

276
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,920
Mrs Gramby. Father.

277
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:38,280
I was hoping to talk to everyone...
about what happened.

278
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,800
<font color="

279
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:44,320
Mrs Sullivan, you mentioned you're
a member of the Kembleford Players.

280
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:45,960
The President.

281
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:49,640
Would you be willing
to step in and help?

282
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:53,600
Absolutely!
But without Uncle Mirth...

283
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,600
Oh, it's my intention
<font color="

284
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,560
Just going to call in some favours.

285
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,600
Well, I'll be more than happy
to take on any role! Good!

286
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,040
Well, if you would be able
to wait in the auditorium,

287
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,600
I'll speak to you shortly. Right.

288
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:15,040
<font color="

289
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:19,280
the atmosphere
between you and Mr Gramby.

290
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,920
I know Uncle Mirth
told you about the letter.

291
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,280
It wasn't about that.

292
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,280
If you must know, I'd just found out
the truth from our solicitor.

293
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,320
The truth?

294
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,760
<font color="
signed the theatre over to Eric.

295
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,360
He put the papers in
with some invoices I was signing.

296
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:42,600
As the new owner, he'd be able
to sell it if anything gets worse.

297
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,000
You were swindled by your husband.

298
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,040
My grandfather built this theatre,
<font color="

299
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,160
Am I right in thinking that,
as Mr Gramby's widow,

300
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,640
you are the sole beneficiary
of his will?

301
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,760
Yes. Does Kount Volker know that?

302
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,360
I've mentioned it.

303
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:05,400
Now, if you'll excuse me, Father,
<font color="

304
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,280
We open tomorrow.

305
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,200
But why bring it back here?
We said we'd return it

306
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,320
to Uncle Mirth's niece
when we were done.

307
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,200
Its gloves are still at the lab.

308
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,680
Can't help thinking
it's behind the killing.

309
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,640
<font color="
certainly got form.

310
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,040
He nearly killed Mrs McCarthy.
You what?

311
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,560
Yeah. She pricked herself
on poisoned needles.

312
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,840
They were hidden inside his body.
Oh. Really?

313
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,920
Very nasty, it was. Very nasty.

314
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,880
<font color="
to have fun.

315
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,720
CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

316
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,720
Yeah. Bye!

317
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,280
You don't scare me.

318
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,880
You're just a dummy.

319
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,520
SINISTER RECORDED LAUGHTER

320
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,520
Whoa!

321
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:55,400
Are you sure you're all right
<font color="

322
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,680
Oh.

323
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:04,840
Um...I'm very sorry
if my husband offended you earlier.

324
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,200
That's all right.

325
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:13,600
Bye. I saw your act many years ago,
on a double bill with Uncle Mirth.

326
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,200
<font color="

327
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,600
I owe him a lot.

328
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,720
It was him who actually
came up with my stage name.

329
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:27,000
Did he? After the infamous Volker
family who bankrolled the Nazis.

330
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,920
He thought it would be funny.

331
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,520
Yes, well, Uncle Mirth always
<font color="

332
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,680
Didn't he call his dog Mussolini?
Yes.

333
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:39,880
He said you were
the only comic funnier than him.

334
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,880
Uncle Mirth said that?

335
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,040
He did.

336
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,200
And that there was a film producer
interested in you.

337
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,160
<font color="

338
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,040
Ahem.

339
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,120
I wanted to talk to you
about Mrs Gramby.

340
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,880
She said you knew
she would re-inherit the theatre

341
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,880
on Mr Gramby's death.

342
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:06,720
Yes.

343
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,000
So, now she IS the owner,

344
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,600
<font color="
of eviction and the sack.

345
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,280
EXHALES

346
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,000
Father, Eric didn't mean
what he said to me.

347
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,400
No?
He was always threatening people.

348
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:26,840
But when he WAS the owner, he
<font color="

349
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,120
VOLKER SIGHS

350
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,120
Father, I live in the basement,

351
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,840
and this job doesn't pay very much.

352
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,880
It's hardly worth killing for.

353
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,000
No.

354
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,240
I just want an explanation.

355
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:42,840
Thank you for your time.

356
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,360
<font color="
about Uncle Mirth?

357
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:54,000
Yes, he said you were
the true king of jesters.

358
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:04,880
We've taken statements
from everyone at the theatre.

359
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,360
General consensus is that
you behave as if Mr Kafka is real...

360
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,040
<font color="

361
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:19,080
So...is there anything more
you want to tell me?

362
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,200
Very well. You were the last one
to leave the theatre,

363
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,160
removing your make-up, you said.
Then what?

364
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,760
Did you go straight to
your niece's car?

365
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,240
<font color="
go looking for Eric Gramby?

366
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:40,200
MR KAFKA LAUGHS FAINTLY

367
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,440
MR KAFKA, DISTORTED:
You can't remember!

368
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,840
You're going to hell!

369
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,760
Hell! Hell!

370
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,520
I want to see Father Brown.

371
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,200
You've already spoken to him.

372
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,720
<font color="
Something important.

373
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,600
I... I can't breathe!

374
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,360
There. Oh! Thank you.

375
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:10,880
When Mildred asked me to help out,
I thought she meant onstage.

376
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,960
Well, there'll be other shows.
She's always looking for new talent.

377
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,800
<font color="

378
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,600
Versatile actresses
are so hard to come by.

379
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,960
BAD ACCENT: If you'd like
to take your seat, madam.

380
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,600
Number turty-tree is over dere.

381
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,760
Mrs Sullivan? Oh,
<font color="

382
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,160
I love performing.

383
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,280
Oh. I owe you an apology.

384
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,640
I won't be needing you after all.

385
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:36,320
Oh. It was silly of me to think
I could find a star act in time.

386
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,680
Nobody's available. I'm sorry.

387
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,840
<font color="

388
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,200
Didn't you used to be a comedienne?

389
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,520
My uncle taught me his act.
I know it off by heart.

390
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,280
I'm grasping at straws.

391
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,600
The audience wouldn't accept
a relative newcomer,

392
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,840
especially as the main act.

393
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,360
No.

394
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:59,160
<font color="

395
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,840
This is it. End of the theatre.

396
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,920
VOLKER: Prepare to be entertained
and enchanted!

397
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,120
Titillated and enraptured!

398
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:12,320
Exhilarated and elated!

399
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:16,320
That's...part of your old act.

400
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,400
I've decided to revive it,
<font color="

401
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,360
Oh, Volker, thank you!

402
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,080
We haven't got much time,
but I know we can do it.

403
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,760
What changed your mind?

404
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,840
Divine intervention.

405
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,960
How did you get there?

406
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,040
SHRIEKS

407
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,000
Apologies, Miss Palmer.

408
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,480
<font color="

409
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,760
Uncle Mirth wants to see him
at the police station. Um...

410
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:51,920
Father, that dummy
started laughing on its own.

411
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,440
MR KAFKA LAUGHS

412
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:58,920
See, I told you.

413
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,680
It's called a laughing box.

414
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,440
<font color="

415
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,280
Right.

416
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,200
So who do you think's the killer?

417
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,920
Well, Mrs Gramby
stands to re-inherit the theatre.

418
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,560
And Eric threatened Volker
with the sack and eviction.

419
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,200
But are either of them
capable of murder?

420
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,120
<font color="

421
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,280
Oh! Hmmm.

422
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,240
So after I've flicked up the
house lights for the interval...

423
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,040
Straight into the bar
and serve the drinks. Got it!

424
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,280
"A glass of Beaujolais, madame?"

425
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:39,480
"Will that be all, my lover,
<font color="

426
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,240
Are you all right?

427
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:45,800
Sorry! Just any excuse
to exercise the old vocal cords.

428
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,200
Right.

429
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,040
Is the compere role
too much for you?

430
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,400
No. But if we could go over
some jokes tonight...

431
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,240
<font color="

432
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,120
They say we're all bonkers!

433
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,680
More energy.

434
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,920
Remember, you are the star act.

435
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,280
The star act. Star act.

436
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,200
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

437
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:27,440
'Ave you seen that doctor?
I'm sure he came this way!

438
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,520
I'd like to pull his head off

439
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,520
<font color="

440
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,560
CHUCKLING

441
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,560
He's getting there.

442
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,800
Ah!

443
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,040
Do you think he'll be ready?

444
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:39,480
He has to be.

445
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,320
Thank you.

446
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,040
Just Father Brown, please.

447
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,800
If he says anything incriminating,
I want to know.

448
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,720
<font color="

449
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,720
I'm scared, Father Brown.

450
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,640
I'm scared I'm going to hell.

451
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,480
I keep going through it in my mind
and...

452
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,120
..I think I may be the killer.

453
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,840
Why do you say that?

454
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:37,800
Well, when Gwen was waiting for me
in the car outside the theatre,

455
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:42,000
<font color="
of time which I can't account for.

456
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:46,440
What if I killed Eric
and I blocked it out?

457
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,960
Or perhaps you went to sleep.

458
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:54,680
Exhaustion. You said yourself,
the tour had made you very tired.

459
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,640
Why did you ask me
<font color="

460
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,840
To say goodbye.

461
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,840
In case the worst happens.

462
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:14,600
I may be spared the noose,
but I couldn't survive prison.

463
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:15,960
Or the asylum.

464
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:19,920
Uncle Mirth,
I will find the real killer.

465
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,200
He's lying!

466
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,240
<font color="
the first time!

467
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,800
Remember all the electric shocks?
All down to him!

468
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:35,720
Give him to me.

469
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:41,960
Don't trust him!

470
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,280
He just wants to lock you back up
in the madhouse!

471
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,440
Kill him. Kill him!

472
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,440
<font color="
MR KAFKA: Kill him!

473
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,840
Shut up! Shut up!
MR KAFKA: Kill him!

474
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,720
He needs transferring
to a mental hospital.

475
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,040
Miss Kirkov.

476
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,800
<font color="

477
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,200
Sorry. I was at Mildred's.

478
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,160
Your uncle has had a breakdown.

479
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,880
He's being taken
to the mental hospital.

480
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,360
Oh, no.

481
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,160
I should have taken your advice.

482
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,800
I should have cancelled
some of the shows.

483
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:47,120
<font color="
he do all the Wedlock dates?

484
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,360
Was Mr Gramby pressurising you
in some way?

485
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,720
You seemed nervous around him.

486
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,160
I...

487
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:58,240
I just didn't like him.

488
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,760
Apologies, Father,
but I really need to go to bed.

489
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,760
<font color="
on your uncle's shirt cuffs.

490
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,560
I saw when you were fastening them
at the theatre.

491
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,760
Were those marks perhaps
from your fingernails?

492
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:17,480
Probably. I'd only just
painted them. But what of it?

493
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:20,560
<font color="

494
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:24,760
Mr Kafka had been rummaging through
Eric Gramby's drawers,

495
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,200
but it was you.

496
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,440
There were green marks
on the documents in the drawer.

497
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,000
The same colour as your nail polish.
Father...

498
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,000
<font color="
Monique's letter?

499
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,960
No.

500
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:42,200
It was just a package.
But I couldn't find it, so...

501
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,120
A package that was very important
to you.

502
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,440
Uncle Mirth said Eric Gramby
was a photographer -

503
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,320
<font color="
of the acts.

504
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,040
The photographs
Eric took of me were...

505
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,040
He said if I didn't make sure

506
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,920
that my uncle did a long run
at the theatre...

507
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,440
..he'd make them public.

508
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,840
And after the outburst onstage,

509
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:14,160
<font color="
to complete his engagement.

510
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:17,200
Well, yes.
So Eric Gramby's threat

511
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,920
became a horrifying possibility.

512
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,360
Surely you don't think that I...

513
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,160
I'm just trying to get
a clear picture.

514
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,360
I want to help your uncle.

515
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:39,120
<font color="
about the photographs.

516
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,040
If my family knew...

517
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,280
I'm so ashamed.

518
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,480
Whatever happened,
it was not your fault.

519
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,200
But I could have said no.

520
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:57,240
You were young.
Eric Gramby took advantage of that.

521
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,160
<font color="

522
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:09,280
Hey-hey-hey! Oh, yes, look at this!

523
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,560
Have a look at the merchandise.
What do you think?

524
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,920
It's a nice bit of smatter, isn't
it? I bet you'd like one of these,

525
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,640
madam. You'd look good in this,
wouldn't you?

526
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,120
<font color="
I did. He said,

527
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,720
"I haven't seen you in a while."
I said "No, I've been ill."

528
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,200
THEY LAUGH

529
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:28,040
Anyway, yes.
"I want a word with you."

530
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,080
"Me?"

531
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,720
"Yeah, you."

532
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,560
<font color="

533
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,840
"Well, it's going to be
more than one word,

534
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:43,120
"because I tell you this,
I don't like you. Watch this."

535
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:44,560
Ah!

536
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,320
MUTTERS

537
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,200
"Right! Ow!"

538
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,440
<font color="

539
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,560
"Right, I warned you!"

540
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,360
"What you going to do with that?"

541
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,480
"I'm going to hit myself!"

542
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,400
LOUD CLANG

543
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,720
Volker!

544
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,440
That was truly marvellous.

545
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,680
I've been rehearsing
since five o'clock this morning.

546
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,760
<font color="
I've, uh, I've had a thought.

547
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:16,400
Maybe I could enter through
the trap door like I used to.

548
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,200
Good idea.

549
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,480
Mrs Sullivan,
I have one other job for you.

550
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,320
I need you
to operate the follow-spot.

551
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,800
<font color="
Ooh, that sounds a bit technical.

552
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,440
I really don't think...
Can we rehearse my opening now?

553
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,560
Yes. Now, onstage.

554
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:40,360
Uncle Mirth's sanity is slipping
away. I'm running out of time.

555
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,040
Thought you could do with a brew.

556
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,000
<font color="
when they took him away.

557
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,800
What if he did kill Eric?

558
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:53,920
No.

559
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:56,480
He didn't.

560
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,000
Erm, something wrong with my tea?

561
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,600
This letter isn't old...

562
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,280
..it's a forgery.

563
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:10,360
Paper stained with tea
<font color="

564
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:11,840
It's a forger's trick.

565
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,720
So Monique didn't really
have an affair? No.

566
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:19,680
Someone sent this letter
to make Uncle Mirth jealous.

567
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,840
So he'd have a motive for murder?

568
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:24,640
Exactly.

569
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:29,600
<font color="
to tip him over the edge.

570
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,960
That is significantly lighter
in colour

571
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,760
than what he was given in the cell.
It's been watered down.

572
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,120
But we still don't know

573
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,520
how the killer knew what
<font color="

574
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,080
Uncle Mirth said
he was always mislaying things.

575
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,760
Where are you off to?
I need to check on something.

576
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,480
But the show will be starting soon.

577
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,080
I'll meet you at the theatre. Oh!

578
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,840
EXCITED CHATTER

579
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,240
<font color="

580
00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:47,120
PA SYSTEM:
Ten-minute call to performance.

581
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,040
Father Brown.

582
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,360
Ah. Kount Volker.

583
00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:20,480
You wrote the fake love letter
from Monique to Eric.

584
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,240
SCOFFS

585
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:25,960
There was a message on the back
<font color="

586
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,200
so you stole it,
copied the handwriting,,

587
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,240
and then returned it.

588
00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:33,200
You're not serious?

589
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:38,080
You used the paper from your joke
notepad with the rounded corners

590
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,000
and then you stained it with tea.

591
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:45,920
<font color="
Doesn't mean that I killed Eric.

592
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,440
But only the real murderer
would seek to frame someone else.

593
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,840
Believe me,
you cannot live with this.

594
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,840
You don't know the half of it.

595
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,600
Uncle Mirth said
<font color="

596
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,280
What stopped you? Was it Eric?

597
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,000
Is that why you killed him?

598
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,240
Ahem. He deserved what he got.

599
00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:12,640
You made sure
I stayed here in this fleapit.

600
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,200
I'm a businessman.
I did what I had to do.

601
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,280
<font color="

602
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:19,360
living down there
like some cellar rat.

603
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,720
Please! Spare me the theatrics.

604
00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:25,680
Face facts -
you're a washed-up clown.

605
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,840
Whatever I am, it's you're doing.

606
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,680
You ground me down,
took away my confidence.

607
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,520
<font color="
and just go and clean the stalls!

608
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:40,400
The days of you telling me
what to do are over.

609
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,480
Goodbye, Eric.

610
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,720
The life I could have had.
Up there with the screen greats!

611
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,720
Keaton and Chaplin.

612
00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:50,400
Uncle Mirth said something
<font color="

613
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,440
Yeah. He wanted
to put me in the movies,

614
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:56,680
but suddenly changed his mind
and left.

615
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,800
I assume Eric got to him?

616
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,760
He lied.

617
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:05,320
Said I was related
to the infamous Volker family.

618
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,720
<font color="
that bankrolled the Nazis.

619
00:37:09,720 --> 00:37:12,280
So he painted you as a fascist?

620
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,040
That was just
so he could keep me here,

621
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,920
making sure I kept
the audiences coming in.

622
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,200
And you found out
about this recently?

623
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,840
<font color="
was at the awards ceremony.

624
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:27,240
He was presenting Uncle Mirth with
his Lifetime Achievement award.

625
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:30,880
I begged him to tell me
what happened.

626
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:35,960
So you diluted
Uncle Mirth's medication

627
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,760
and waited until he snapped,

628
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:41,600
<font color="
to kill Eric Granby.

629
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:45,240
Then you wiped
the dummy's hands in his blood.

630
00:37:45,240 --> 00:37:50,200
Crazy old Uncle Mirth -
always blaming Mr Kafka.

631
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,800
He was your friend.

632
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,880
Uncle Mirth! Huh!

633
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,640
Always top of the bill.

634
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,360
<font color="
But he became famous!

635
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,480
That should've been me!

636
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,960
You know that this is wrong.

637
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,480
You cannot let him hang.

638
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:13,400
And if you confess,
God will forgive you.

639
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,480
God? He's no better than Eric!

640
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,480
Standing by while I rotted away
<font color="

641
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,120
I've been given a second chance!

642
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,840
The spotlight finally back on me!

643
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,800
Yeah. Yeah.

644
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,760
Unless you repent,
you will never have any peace.

645
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,200
Enough! You need to be silenced.

646
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,640
Permanently!

647
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,800
Over here.

648
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,800
<font color="

649
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,640
Back! And up.

650
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:52,040
Welcome to Wedlock Theatre.

651
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,040
This afternoon's star comedian,

652
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:59,120
reprising his award-winning routine,

653
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:02,200
will be Kount Volker!

654
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,160
APPLAUSE

655
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,440
LAUGHTER

656
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:15,720
BOOING

657
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,000
MR KAFKA LAUGHS

658
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,200
<font color="
Murderer! Murderer!

659
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:23,840
LAUGHTER

660
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:25,440
It's payback time!

661
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,320
CHEERING

662
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,960
You can't arrest me!
I'm the star act!

663
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,720
Constable, put him in.

664
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,720
The show's ended
<font color="

665
00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:58,760
With Uncle Mirth
taking his medication undiluted,

666
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,600
he will be back before you know it.

667
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,560
Miss Kirkov,

668
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,880
thank you
for your timely intervention.

669
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,760
It wasn't just me.

670
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,200
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

671
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,560
<font color="

672
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:23,040
get ready for the zaniest,
craziest jester of them all!

673
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,600
AUDIENCE: Ooh!

674
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:28,200
The only...Uncle Mirth!

675
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:31,200
APPLAUSE

676
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,880
MR KAFKA: Oh, don't listen to her.
I'm the star of the act, not you!

677
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,480
<font color="

678
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,920
Well, its lovely to be here
in Wedlock...

679
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,120
CHEERING

680
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,080
..amongst so many old friends!
No offence.

681
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:49,000
MR KAFKA: Hey, don't forget
our newer friends.

682
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,880
Oh, yes, anybody you got in mind,
<font color="

683
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,640
MR KAFKA: Well,
what about Inspector Sullivan?

684
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,920
Oh, Inspector Sullivan! Yes.

685
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:01,040
Is he here anywhere?
Stand up and give us a wave.

686
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:02,600
Go on!

687
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,240
Ah, there you are!
Give him a round of applause!

688
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:08,400
<font color="

689
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,200
MR KAFKA: Why...? Why...?

690
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:14,760
Why does a detective bring a pencil
to interrogate a suspect?

691
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:16,160
I don't know. Why?

692
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,200
MR KAFKA: So he can draw
his own conclusions!

693
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,280
LAUGHTER

694
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,920
<font color="
we haven't sung the song.

695
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:27,320
MR KAFKA: Oh, not the song, no!
I can't stand the song!

696
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,320
No, we'll sing the song.

697
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,440


698
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,760
ALL:

699
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,400


700
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,920
<font color="

701
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:45,560


702
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,680
So what would you order
for your tea?

703
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:53,200
MR KAFKA:
Great green greasy goosegogs!

704
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:57,240
Hang on a second,
gooseberries are not greasy.

705
00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:59,720
<font color="
when you smother them in "gutter"!

706
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:09,960
INDISTINCT APPROVING CHATTER

707
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:13,560
You were incredible. Oh!

708
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:18,040
After what happened, I really
thought we may have to close.

709
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:20,440
Your father
<font color="

710
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,680
I'm going to stay on after the run,

711
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,760
just to make sure
the place is viable.

712
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:28,560
If that's all right.
Of course it is!

713
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:32,640
You look like you need a drink, sir.
You can say that again.

714
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,320
I'll get them in.

715
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:37,840
<font color="

716
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,840
Don't tell my wife, but you are,
without a doubt,

717
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,840
the most attractive waitress
I've ever seen.

718
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,880
Flattery won't get you a free drink.

719
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,840
But it will get you one of these.

720
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:56,200
I think these negatives
belong to you.

721
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,320
<font color="

722
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,840
Father, I can't thank you enough
for everything you've done.

723
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:04,480
Where's Mr Kafka?

724
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:06,640
Oh, he's in the case.

725
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:10,640
Always likes to take a nap
after a show. Sweet dreams.

726
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,600
MR KAFKA: Let me out of here!
<font color="

727
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,520
LAUGHTER

728
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,000
Please let me out! I'm so lonely!

729
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,840
LAUGHTER

730
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,080
Please! Let me out!